As the sun set over the dark and misty horizon the wind blew the water from side to side. The sun set as Josh, Manny, Benji and Klaus disappeared into the foggy background, where you could barely see the wrinkly water. They travelled off into the distance where it was like being in a zombie apocalypse because of the fog. Manny was somehow born with a kind of superpower where he could lift up anything. Even though he was just 18 years old, he could still lift up anything he wanted. Klaus was just a very smart kid who could figure out almost anything. Benji and Josh were just very talented.
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Hi Deakyn, what an exciting, enjoyable story. You've thought of lots of details to make your story really interesting and you've tried to make it a bit scary too. You've managed to include a number of adverbial phrases of time, too, which help to keep your story moving along.
ReplyDeleteRemember to use shift +ctr v when you paste onto your blog so your work doesn't go off the page as it has done here.
Mrs Idle